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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

I got email from the ThinkGeek Overlords today. In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, their website has a section devoted to “Geek Love”. Fun stuff. Check it out.

“We less than three you!” (Geek-speak for “We ❤ you!”)

Pixel Heart Heat Changing Mug from ThinkGeek.com

Pixel Heart Heat Changing Mug from ThinkGeek.com

Cardboard Safari Heart-shaped Gift Box from ThinkGeek.com

Cardboard Safari Heart-shaped Gift Box from ThinkGeek.com

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Unconditional Love

My nephew Ben – a ♥er of haters. Incidentally, he’s also big on small people and cool with hot girls.

I ♥ Haters hat

I ♥ Haters hat

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Release the mounds…and shake your euphemism!

A surprising number of people arrive at My Heart-Shaped World when they search for the lyrics to Blue Man Group‘s “Shake Your Euphemism” – and they find this September post celebrating the heart-shaped “jiggle twins” in Blue Man Group’s stage graphics (see photo below).

I certainly don’t want to disappoint those who come seeking lyrics, so I’ve posted them below the photo. (Note that there are different versions of “Shake Your Euphemism.” The lyrics below align with the performance that starts at 1:02 in this YouTube video.)

Heart-shaped "mounds of mischief" in The Blue Man Group's stage set design for Shake It Up: Made in Japan

Heart-shaped “mounds of mischief” in The Blue Man Group’s stage set design for Shake It Up: Made in Japan

Blue Man Group’s “Shake Your Euphemism” Lyrics

It is time now to create the ultimate dance party.
To take things over the top, you need to start shaking your rear end.
Or as some people call it…

Your hindquarters
Your backside
Your buttocks
Your heiny

Your keister
Your tush
Your buns
Your gluteus tote-bag

Your bubble pop
Your medicine ball
Your sonic boom
Your sit-biscuit

Your posterior
Your subwoofer
Your horn section
Your monster truck

Your mag wheels
Your life’s work
The Outback
Your cousin’s apartment

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand up and
RELEASE THE MOUNDS

It’s time to shake that freckle-muffin
The place where all burritos go
It’s time to bake that turkey stuffin’
Tweedledee and Tweedledum

Dance to the beat that the DJ cuts
There’s no “if”s or “and”s

JUST BUTTS.

Let’s get it going, keep it going – don’t stop
Let’s get it going, keep it going – don’t stop
Let’s get it going, keep it going – don’t stop

Use your bum to stir that soup
And shake it all around like the
Blue Man Group!

Shake it ’til you bake it
Shake it ’til you wake it
Shake it ’til you make it
Shake it, shake it, shake it!

Your dance catcher
Under the thunder
Gigantor
The stabilizer

Shake your carry-on luggage
The Bobbsey Twins
Your growing personal following

Shake your boomwhacker
Your reporter at large
Or in this case, very large

Shake the flounder
That’s rounder
Than a giant quarter pounder

Shake it, shake it, shake it! 

SHAKE SHAKE
SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE

THAT THING

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A friend sent me a link to Dan Matutina’s “Versus / Hearts” (twistedfork.me) – a cool collection of hearts formed from pairs of famous rivals…Darth Vader and Obi Wan, Mario and Bowser, Batman and the Joker, Angry Birds and their egg-pilfering porcine nemeses…

Says Dan, “Versus/Hearts is about rivals. Rivals hate each other, but deep inside they know they couldn’t exist without the other.”

A few of my faves follow. To see the full collection, I encourage you to click through to Dan’s website.

"The Snake and the Lightning" (Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter) from Dan Matutina's "Versus / Hearts" Collection

“The Snake and the Lightning” (Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter) from
Dan Matutina’s “Versus / Hearts” Collection

"The Pig and the Bird" (of Angry Birds fame) from Dan Matutina's "Versus / Hearts" Collection

“The Pig and the Bird” (of Angry Birds fame) from Dan Matutina’s
“Versus / Hearts” Collection

"The Joke and the Bat" from Dan Matutina's "Versus / Hearts" Collection

“The Joke and the Bat” from Dan Matutina’s
“Versus / Hearts” Collection

"Spy vs. Spy" (a Mad Magazine fixture since 1961) from Dan Matutina's "Versus / Hearts" Collection

“Spy vs. Spy” (a Mad Magazine fixture since 1961) from Dan Matutina’s
“Versus / Hearts” Collection

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Heart-spotting Contest Entry

From Sylvia W.:

If the Flux O Bile doesn’t win an award for the least enticing thing you’ve ever put on your blog, I don’t know what will. Who was on the marketing team that headed up this one? Lordy.

[Editor’s Note: When not even a scantily clad woman making cutesy heart shapes around her bellybutton can soften the disgustingness of your product name, it’s probably time to re-brand….)

FLUX O BILE...because an effective cleanse must be organic! (submitted by Sylvia W.)

FLUX O BILE…because an effective cleanse must be organic!
(submitted by Sylvia W.)

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Heartened by the fact that my Monday pun garnered only one public groan, I thought I’d try my luck with another…

Have you noticed the trend in horror films of villains tearing the still-beating hearts from their victims’ chests?

I find such scenes very disheartening.

For a peek at 14 gory movie scenes that tug (rather violently) at the heartstrings (including the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom that started it all), follow this link – definitely not for the faint of heart!

And if you’re the DIY type, here’s a handy instructional video (worth watching just for the silliness that unfolds from 2:56 to 4:24)…

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A heart-shaped pun

On a busy downtown street, Dr. Corwyn saw a stranger clutch his chest and fall to the ground. He hurried to the stranger’s side and performed cardiac massage.

After he came to, the stranger gushed with heartfelt thanks.

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